Honestly, We Expected Better From You.

But here you are, once again, proving us right — and somehow you’ve earned this Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee. Maybe it’s for comfort. Maybe it’s to mask the unbearable weight of your own misdirected indignation. Either way, it fits. Literally. Designed for the kind of person who points fingers in every direction but inward, this tee works whether you’re lambasting family at a reunion, sulking through a birthday party, or loudly misreading the room at a graduation.

It’s soft. It’s breathable. It does nothing to stop you from being that person. But hey, at least you’ll look tragically comfortable doing it.

Product Features for the Blameless Wonder:

• Shoulder tape keeps it intact, even when your arguments don’t.

• Seamless design — unlike your tendency to escalate things for no reason.

• Ribbed collar that bounces back, unlike the friendships you’ve strained.

• High-quality fabric so your petty grievances can be printed loud and clear.

• Made from 100% US cotton, because irony still matters.

Care Instructions (not that you ever follow them):

• Use non-chlorine bleach when you inevitably spill your superiority complex.

• Don’t iron — like your excuses, it just makes things worse.

• No dry cleaning; we don’t trust you with it.

• Machine wash cold — to match your tone.

• Tumble dry low — because disappointment should linger, not shrink.

You bought the shirt. The mirror is extra.