You say tomato, I say you’re a schmuck.

This isn’t a cute disagreement. This is a declaration of intellectual war—embroidered in 100% unapologetic cotton. This Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee is for those who are done entertaining the opinions of the chronically misinformed, the confidently incorrect, and the proudly pedantic. You’ve tried patience. You’ve tried silence. Now try clothing that does the verbal slapping for you.

Perfect for family dinners that devolve into debates, coworkers who “play devil’s advocate,” and random internet strangers who think volume equals intelligence. Slip this on and let the fabric do the talking—because you’ve already wasted enough breath explaining the obvious to the oblivious.

Crafted for women who prefer real-world style over virtual snake oil, this softstyle tee won’t crash overnight, rug-pull your closet, or require a 37-step wallet recovery phrase. It’s fashion for those who skipped the FOMO and kept their dignity (and dollars).

Perfect for brunch, errands, or silently roasting that guy at the party who keeps calling himself a “crypto futurist” while trying to expense his gas fees. Because while he’s explaining decentralized ownership to a houseplant, you’ll be out here… looking good in cotton.

Product Features

• Ribbed knit collar that holds its shape—unlike your buddy’s JPEG investments

• Shoulder tape for structure, not to be confused with the imaginary kind

• Double-needle stitching that, like your common sense, is surprisingly rare these days

• Side seams for actual stability (take notes, Ethereum bros)

• 100% ringspun cotton: soft, breathable, and never hosted on OpenSea

Care Instructions

• Machine wash: cold, like the dead eyes of NFT shillers

• Bleach: non-chlorine only—this shirt doesn’t need to be whitewashed like your losses

• Tumble dry: medium, unlike your risk tolerance

• Do not iron—it’s already hot enough from truth bombs

• Do not dry clean—it doesn’t need laundering like your favorite Discord group