“Speak Schmuck to Power” Tee

In a world teetering on the edge of late-stage capitalism, climate collapse, and billionaires cosplaying gods, “Speak Schmuck to Power” is your battle cry—equal parts wit, defiance, and exhausted nihilism. Perfect for when you’re too disillusioned for revolution, but still petty enough to clap back at the smug technocrat gaslighting your timeline.

Made for those who’ve realized the system’s a dumpster fire and the fire is sentient. Wear it to your next protest, passive-aggressive staff meeting, or while doomscrolling through the ruins of democracy.

Because if we’re going down, we’re going down sarcastic.

Product Features

• Shoulder tape, because even shirts need support in this timeline.

• Seamless design, saving fabric for the dystopian sewing bots.

• Ribbed collar: still more structure than society.

• Strong, smooth cotton—ready to display your printed rebellion in high definition.

• 100% U.S. cotton, ethically sourced before ethics became optional.

Care Instructions

• Machine wash cold, like your robot overlord’s heart

• Tumble dry low, unlike your standards

• Do not iron—you’re not that fancy

• Do not dry clean—unless you want to meet the AI that runs the cleaners

• Bleach? Only if it’s non-chlorine. We’re not monsters

Wear it loud. Wear it proud. Buckle up, meatbag—this ride doesn’t stop.