NFT for Schmucks Tee

A nice f(schm)ucking t-shirt. Because why invest in digital snake oil when you can wear your regret in cotton?

This isn’t just a t-shirt. It’s a tangible, breathable middle finger to the blockchain bros and anyone who ever said “utility” with a straight face. Made for schmucks who like their fashion like their investments: emotionally impulsive and questionably valuable.

Whether you’re spiraling into your third existential crisis or just trying to look like you understand crypto at brunch, this Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee delivers comfort, sarcasm, and just enough self-awareness to make your therapist raise an eyebrow.

Features for the f(schm)uckin’ curious:

• Shoulder tape to keep it from collapsing like your portfolio.

• Seamless design — unlike your understanding of NFTs.

• Ribbed collar that bounces back, unlike your last altcoin.

• Strong, smooth fabric for those bold, regrettable graphics.

• 100% US cotton because at least one part of this is real.

Care instructions:

• Machine wash cold (for your cold, dead wallet).

• Tumble dry low (because high heat is for hot wallets).

• Do not iron or dry clean (you’ve done enough damage already).

• Non-chlorine bleach only — even schmucks deserve soft whites.