For the Motherschucker who has everything—except shame.

This isn’t just a T-shirt. It’s a wearable warning label. Made from heavy cotton and heavier emotional baggage, this unisex tee is here to help you shuck oysters, expectations, and any sense of decorum you may have left.

Perfect for bar fights, brunches, or blowing off that family reunion you were never invited to anyway. Dress it up with a sneer or down with a hangover. Either way, you’ll look like the most comfortable bad decision in the room.

Product Features

• Shoulder tape to keep it together better than you do.

• Seamless design—unlike your fractured relationships.

• Ribbed collar that bounces back from poor choices, unlike your credit score.

• Smooth, strong cotton that holds up when your personality doesn’t.

• 100% US-grown cotton, because your ethics deserve one good decision.

Care Instructions

• Machine wash cold—like your dead eyes

• Tumble dry low, like your self-worth

• Do not iron, you chaotic crustacean

• Do not dry clean—who do you think you are?

• Bleach when it starts to smell like regret