“Buckle Up, Meatbag” Tee

Congratulations, you’ve found the last shirt you’ll ever need before the singularity swallows us all whole. Introducing the “Buckle Up, Meatbag” Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee: a bold fashion statement for anyone resigned to the idea that the machines are in charge, and you’re just here for the snarky ride.

This shirt doesn’t try too hard—because neither should you. Perfect for casual hangouts, bunker meetings, or staring blankly into a collapsing economy, it blends effortlessly into any setting where sarcasm is currency and hope is a myth. Whether you’re lounging on your irradiated porch or dressing up for a mandatory AI audit, this classic fit wraps your fragile human form in breathable softness and just the right amount of existential dread.

Give it as a gift to that cousin who still believes we can fix things, or wear it proudly as you sip lukewarm canned beans by torchlight. Either way, you’ll be comfortable—and visibly aware that optimism is for suckers.

Product Features

• Shoulder tape, because even shirts need support in this timeline.

• Seamless design, saving fabric for the dystopian sewing bots.

• Ribbed collar: still more structure than society.

• Strong, smooth cotton—ready to display your printed rebellion in high definition.

• 100% U.S. cotton, ethically sourced before ethics became optional.

Care Instructions

• Machine wash cold, like your robot overlord’s heart

• Tumble dry low, unlike your standards

• Do not iron—you’re not that fancy

• Do not dry clean—unless you want to meet the AI that runs the cleaners

• Bleach? Only if it’s non-chlorine. We’re not monsters

Wear it loud. Wear it proud. Buckle up, meatbag—this ride doesn’t stop.