Not all screams are equal.

Some are just more raw.

Product Features (served lukewarm, like a stale bagel on MacDougal Street):

• Shoulder tape reinforced—for schlepping everyone else’s baggage, because apparently you’re the “Shelter from the Storm.”

• Seamless design—unlike the tangled mess of excuses from that one friend who swears they’re “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” but really just forgot your birthday.

• Ribbed collar that stays sharp—even when you’re biting your tongue while someone misquotes “Like a Rolling Stone” at karaoke.

• Smooth, durable cotton—tough enough to last longer than your patience for every guy who thinks playing “Tambourine Man” on acoustic makes him a poet.

• Ethically made with 100% US cotton—because you’re trying to fix the world (tikkun olam), even if everyone else is still tangled up in blue.

Care Instructions:

• Non-chlorine bleach—for the wine stains and smug smirks from people who “just discovered” Blonde on Blonde.

• Do not iron—this shirt already smolders with all the fire of “Idiot Wind.”

• Do not dry clean—because if you’re dry-cleaning your tees, you’ve officially gone electric in the worst way.

• Machine wash cold—like your deadpan glare when someone explains Dylan “was better before Newport ’65.”

• Tumble dry low—because the times may be a-changin’, but your patience sure as hell isn’t.

EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Nicaragua

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean