“I may not be a billionaire, but you’re still a schmuck,” Tee

A shirt for those who didn’t win late capitalism’s rigged lottery—but still have enough clarity (and spite) to point out the clowns running the circus.

“I May Not Be a Billionaire, But You’re Still a Schmuck” is the perfect thing to wear while sipping your iced coffee on a melting sidewalk, watching society eat itself one IPO and fascist rebrand at a time. It’s not humble. It’s not gracious. It’s just true.

Ideal for anyone who’s not rich, not powerful, but still morally superior to the smug sociopath explaining trickle-down economics in a LinkedIn post.

Because no, you didn’t make it to the top—but at least you’re not that guy.

Burn it all down. But do it fashionably.

Product Features

• Shoulder tape, because even shirts need support in this timeline.

• Seamless design, saving fabric for the dystopian sewing bots.

• Ribbed collar: still more structure than society.

• Strong, smooth cotton—ready to display your printed rebellion in high definition.

• 100% U.S. cotton, ethically sourced before ethics became optional.

Care Instructions

• Machine wash cold, like your robot overlord’s heart

• Tumble dry low, unlike your standards

• Do not iron—you’re not that fancy

• Do not dry clean—unless you want to meet the AI that runs the cleaners

• Bleach? Only if it’s non-chlorine. We’re not monsters

Wear it loud. Wear it proud. Buckle up, meatbag—this ride doesn’t stop.