Buckle up, meatbag. You’re not sipping tea with grandma—this is a 1.5oz launchpad for bad decisions and even worse ideas. Whether you’re spiraling at a family gathering, celebrating a promotion you probably didn’t deserve, or just trying to forget what day it is, this vibrant little disaster vessel is your loyal companion. The crystal-clear glass shows off your questionable liquid choices in high definition, adding a touch of “who hurt you?” to any event.

Ideal for birthdays, holidays, or staring into the void with style. Because nothing says “I give up, but with flair” quite like a For Schmucks shot glass. Drink up. Regret nothing. Or everything. Either way, cheers.

Product features

• Dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning after inevitable poor life choices

• Vibrant colors to match your loudest mistakes

• 100% clear glass to show off your emotional transparency (or tequila)

• Heavy solid base—because tipping over is your job, not the glass’s

• Restaurant-grade durability, even if your coping mechanisms aren’t

Care instructions

• Survives top-rack dishwashing and existential dread

• Or hand wash, if you’re into that sort of punishment