For Schmucks – Returns, Refunds & Regret Policy
Because sometimes life (and logistics) just schmuck up.
🛑 No Returns. No Exchanges. No Kidding.
Look, every item you order from For Schmucks is made just for you — by a third-party print overlord named Printify. That means we don’t keep warehouses full of “Schmuck Rogers” mugs or “Schmucking Brilliant” tees lying around waiting to be returned like a soulless big-box store. Everything is printed on demand. So unless your item arrives looking like it was chewed up by a disgruntled raccoon or ManBearPig, we can’t accept returns or exchanges. Sorry, not sorry.
😵 Something Wrong? Let’s Fix It.
We stand by our schmuckery. If your order shows up…
- Misprinted
- Damaged
- Defective
- Or like it survived a minor apocalypse en route to your door
…then yes, we’ll absolutely replace it or refund you. Just don’t ghost us.
Here’s what we need from you (within 28 days of delivery):
- Your order number (so we know you’re not making this up)
- Photos of the issue (bonus points if they’re slightly dramatic)
- A brief description of what went wrong (keep it sassy but clear)
👉 Shoot it all over to: orders@4schmucks.com
💸 Refunds (When Deserving)
If your issue checks out, we’ll either:
- Send a replacement, or
- Refund you in full — back to your original form of payment. No store credit nonsense. Only regular priced items may be refunded. Sale items cannot be refunded.
No restocking fees. No return shipping drama. Just honesty, schmuck to schmuck.
🧠 Wait…I Changed My Mind
That’s called buyer’s remorse, and it’s not covered here. Every piece is custom printed, so we can’t refund you just because your inner schmuck had second thoughts. Choose wisely. Or don’t. Just don’t expect a do-over. Don’t forget our mantra.
📬 Wrong Address?
If you gave us the wrong address and your swag ends up in the void — that’s on you. We’ll happily print you another one, but you’ll have to pay for it again. Consider it a tax on bad typing.
In Summary:
If we mess up, we’ll fix it.
If you mess up, you’ll learn something.
And if the universe just hates both of us that day, we’ll figure it out like semi-functioning adults.